Two Heads Are Definitely Not Better Than One
by thoroughbredchickie
Summary: Draco drives Hermione crazy. Full summary inside. DHr
1. He Drives Me Crazy

**_Title: Two Heads Are Definitely Not Better Than One  
  
Subject: DHr  
  
Genre: Romance/Humour  
  
Rating: PG-13 just in case  
  
Summary: Hermione is sick of Draco Malfoy. They are Head Boy and Head Girl, hence the name. She decides that she has had enough, and tries to get to know him better._**

_..........._  
  
Hermione Granger twirled a brown ringlet with the end of her eagle-feather quill. It was tough thinking of what to write.  
  
"I'll finish it tomorrow," she sighed, putting the essay parchment in her folder. There was nothing much else to do, though. Being Head Girl could be so boring, sometimes. She thought of the Gryffindors in their common room, laughing, maybe drinking their way through the six crates of Butterbeer that Fred and George Weasley had sent Ron. Was it worth it? Ever since Hermione had become a Prefect in fifth year she had set her heart on being Head Girl. But there was a drawback to this honour, though. It came in the form of Draco Malfoy.  
  
She wrinkled her nose in disgust when she thought of the sneer he always wore, and the fact that to him, she was 'Mudblood'. They even had to share a common room and a bathroom. He was always in the bathroom first, he took hours carefully styling his hair. Thankfully he had cut the gel in their third year, and now his hair hung over his eyes in delicate silver strands, matching his grey eyes. She remembered the chance encounter in Diagon Alley in the summer holidays, when he had tripped her on purpose.  
  
"He is such an ass," Hermione muttered.  
  
"I do hope you're not talking about me, dear mudblood of mine," a voice came from the back of the common room.  
  
"As a matter of fact, I was," she said through gritted teeth. Malfoy drove her insane.  
  
"Think twice before insulting your betters, Granger," he sneered. Hermione snorted. "Please don't," he said, snootily "it isn't very ladylike, is it?"  
  
"Argh!" she exclaimed and went into her room. She picked up a copy of 'Teen Witch', the once-a-month magazine that Lavender Brown 'kindly' passed on to her. Apparently it was supposed to help her with all things 'girly'.  
  
"Most of all, boyfriends," Lavender had said patronisingly, when handing Hermione the first of many copies to come her way. It wasn't all trash; it had helped Hermione with her hair problems. She no longer had a mass of frizz, but a head full of beautiful ringlets that had just been waiting to be discovered. Some of the articles were good. Hermione didn't have time for boyfriends, though. Or rather, she did, but didn't find any one intelligent enough.  
  
Harry was pretty clever, but it was Harry. He was more of a brother figure than a boyfriend. Hermione envisioned herself kissing Harry. The picture was so preposterous that Hermione laughed.  
  
The mirror coughed. Hermione raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Sorry, I forgot that you could hear..."  
  
"It's because I'm a mirror, isn't it? You're so insensitive! I have a good mind to resign! I never get talked to, and I have to reflect your unsightly appearance day in and day out." The mirror wailed. Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
"What's wrong with my appearance?" she asked, looking at herself.  
  
"You have no sense of fashion, despite those magazines," said the mirror.  
  
"By the way, the glass look went out years ago," Hermione said cuttingly, and strode out of the room, but not before checking herself in the little pocket mirror she kept in her nightstand.  
  
..........  
  
_So, what do you think? I need to know whether or not to continue._


	2. He Drives Me To Lie

**_Title:Two Heads Are Definitely Not Better Than One  
  
Subject: DHr  
  
Genre: Romance/Humour  
  
Rating: PG-13 just in case  
  
Summary: Hermione is sick of Draco Malfoy. They are Head Boy and Head Girl, hence the name. She decides that she has had enough, and tries to get to know him better._**  
  
_A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! Here is the next chapter!_  
  
......................  
  
The snow fell lightly on the Hogwarts grounds, encasing the Whomping Willow in a soft white shell. The Yule Ball was coming up, and Hermione knew she would be expected to dance at least one dance with Draco. After all, it was tradition for the Head Boy and Girl to share the first dance. If only Draco wasn't such a little snotrag. Hermione wondered if anyone would ask her to the dance. If so, they wouldn't be too pleased to see her dancing with the hottie of the school. Ever since the sixth year at Hogwarts all the girls had swooned over Draco. He had suddenly become 'the man'. They seemed to have dropped Harry and fallen for his archenemy. This had made Draco surprisingly bigheaded.  
  
'Actually,' thought Hermione 'scratch that. Surprisingly bigheaded? It's not a surprise at all. Malfoy lives to be adored. It was obviously going to go to his head.'  
  
Yet again, she had attempted to finish the essay. There was no point, really. She hadn't thought of anything clever to conclude it with. So yet again, she had put it away and looked at her Christmas list of things to buy.  
  
Harry – some quidditch book Ron – sweets? Anything like that. Quidditch book, maybe? Ginny – that new lipgloss she keeps going on about Mum – self flossing string mints Dad – ditto.  
  
There wasn't really anyone else. She had 12 galleons to spend. That would definitely be enough, maybe with some left over. There was a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow; she could get it all then.  
  
..............  
  
Hermione looked all around her at the Hogwarts students running around. One bumped into her, but she didn't have the heart to take any points, as it was Christmas. Besides, she didn't even know what house they were in – they were all in muggle clothes. She spotted her fellow Head sauntering down the street like the world was his own, in a pricey looking grey cashmere sweater and an obviously expensive pair of jeans.  
  
"Hello Granger," he spat.  
  
"Malfoy," she acknowledged his presence.  
  
"Are you here shopping for the Weasel? Is he your new boyfriend? Do him a favour; give him a sickle instead so he can buy himself a box. To live in, of course."  
  
"Actually, Malfoy, I was going to buy an expensive present for Harry. Him being my boyfriend, you see." That was a lie. But the look on Malfoy's face was priceless.  
  
"You and Scarhead?" he stuttered. "For Merlin's sake, Granger, get yourself a decent looking boyfriend,"  
  
"Who would you say was decent looking then?"  
  
"Me, of course."  
  
"Yes, Malfoy, like I'd go out with you."  
  
"Pig's would fly sooner," he agreed.  
  
"Come and get your flying pigs," said a witch in scarlet robes "newest thing for your magical farm!" They both turned to look.  
  
"Well... just go away, Granger." He said.  
  
"You talked to me first. And Harry isn't my boyfriend"  
  
"Whatever," he walked into 'Quality Quidditch Supplies."  
  
.............  
  
_A/N: You liked? There should be another chapter soon, and it's going to be quite long, hopefully. It's going to be Christmas and the Yule Ball. Well, until then!_


	3. He Drives Me To WINK!

Two Heads Are Definitely Not Better Than One  
  
**Subject: DHr  
  
Genre: Romance/Humour  
  
Rating: PG-13 just in case  
  
Summary: Hermione is sick of Draco Malfoy. They are Head Boy and Head Girl, hence the name. She decides that she has had enough, and tries to get to know him better.**  
  
_A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! Let's see if we can get ten more reviews after this, okay?  
_  
......................  
  
Hermione's hand fell on the book the same time as Draco's did.  
  
"It's mine," she said firmly.  
  
"Bloody hell, Granger, you must have gotten this one out a billion times." He nodded towards the book, which was 'Hogwarts: A History,"  
  
"I saw it first!"  
  
"I touched it first! Now let me have it!"  
  
"Gonna make me?"  
  
"Am I going to make you?" Draco's eyes glinted. Before he knew it, his lips hit hers. She wasn't resisting, but kissing him back. This was weird. But he did kind of like it. Strike that, it was awesome.  
  
She broke off the kiss.  
  
"Wow, Granger, looks like those make-out sessions with Potty paid off,"  
  
"You are the limit!" for a second she had been falling for him. She surveyed the situation. It wasn't good. After a few moments she said quietly "why did you kiss me?"  
  
"I was trying to make you give me the book,"  
  
"That wasn't the best way. Well, it was good," she clasped her hand over her mouth. Draco grinned. "I mean... a simple please would have sufficed. It's not like I've never read it before..." she turned to walk away.  
  
"Granger!" he called after her. She spun around.  
  
"What?" hands on hips, she looked exasperated.  
  
"Who are you going to the ball with?" the moment he said it he regretted it.  
  
"Oh, probably Harry, unless he's going with Cho or somebody... why?"  
  
"No reason,"  
  
"Don't worry, I'll save the first dance for you," she winked, grinning merrily as she walked out of the library. She'd have to dance the first with him anyway.  
  
...........  
  
_Short, I know. Draco's going to be an ass for the next few chapters, so don't feel I'm 'plunging' right into the relationship.  
  
I'm going to take a poll. In your reviews, type:  
  
**A** if you'd prefer short chapters every day  
  
Or  
  
**B** if you'd prefer long chapters about twice a week_. 


	4. He Drives Me To Consult Ginny

**Two Heads Are Definitely Not Better Than One  
  
Subject: DHr  
  
Genre: Romance/Humour  
  
Rating: PG-13 just in case  
  
Summary: Hermione is sick of Draco Malfoy. They are Head Boy and Head Girl, hence the name. She decides that she has had enough, and tries to get to know him better.**  
  
_A/N: Short every day it is! Enjoy!  
_  
....................  
  
The next few days were weird. Occasionally their eyes would lock, and they would stare at each other, as if sharing a secret.  
  
"I can't believe I kissed Draco Malfoy!" Hermione whispered to Ginny, sitting on her bed. She was sleeping over in Ginny's dorm.  
  
"Me either!" grinned Ginny, her hair in a high ponytail, wearing an oversized tee shirt for bed.  
  
"I mean... it was fantastic. He is such a great kisser..."  
  
"If I didn't know you better, Hermione, I'd say you had a thing for him," said Ginny.  
  
"Me! And Malfoy? You're joking."  
  
"Come on, you have not stopped talking about him since you got here!" Hermione tucked a loose curl that had escaped from the scrunchie behind her ear. She looked thoughtful.  
  
"I don't know. I've been thinking about him a lot... maybe it's just a first crush kind of thing? I don't know if it's a crush. I definitely felt something when he kissed me. But then he was such an ass I realised all the bad things about him."  
  
"But what about the good?"  
  
"I haven't found anything good,"  
  
"Yet," a mischievous smile played on Ginny's lips.  
  
"You don't..."  
  
"Oh yes. Hermione Granger, I think it's about time you got to know Draco Malfoy better."  
  
...............  
  
"So, what do you do in your spare time?" Hermione asked Draco, while stirring their potion five times clockwise.  
  
"Quidditch..." he replied nonchalantly.  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"What is this, Granger, 20 questions?"  
  
"No, I just thought, working in close quarters, it might be best if we got to know each other better. To stop us from aggravating each other too much."  
  
"Okay... what's your favourite colour,"  
  
"Red. You?"  
  
"Green."  
  
"Oh," she added powdered mandrake root and stirred the potion counter- clockwise twice.  
  
"Describe your ideal man," he said. Hermione raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I guess tall, dark and brooding." Draco snorted. "What?" she asked, annoyed.  
  
"Typical girl. Like you're ever going to find him,"  
  
"Who says I won't?"  
  
"Me."  
  
"Okay, what's your perfect girl?"  
  
"Smart and funny. Oh, and she has to have long hair," it was Hermione's turn to snort. "What's so amusing? I have a thing for long hair,"  
  
"Me too."  
  
They worked on their potion in silence for a few minutes.  
  
"Listen, Granger, normally I wouldn't ask you this, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I need a date for the dance. To be honest, you're the only girl slightly worth me. All the others are disgusting. You're not bad looking," he eyed her up and down "and I guess I would not be shamed to stand up with you. After all, we do share the first dance together,"  
  
"Is that your idea of asking someone out? 'You're not good enough but you'll do'? Well I'm sorry, but if that is the case then the answer is no."  
  
"Ah, I see. 'When I do myself the honour of speaking to you next on this subject I shall hope to receive a more favourable answer than you have given me; though I am far from accusing you of cruelty at present, because I know it to be the established custom of your sex to reject a man on the first application, and perhaps you have even now said as much to encourage my suit as would be consistent with the true delicacy of the female character'." He quoted.  
  
"You read 'Pride and Prejudice?'" her eyes widened with surprise.  
  
"Naturally. I am a well-educated man, Granger. So, in reference to my previous request, what will your answer be?"  
  
"I'll think about it."  
  
"Don't think I'm interested in you, Granger. You will just compliment me nicely, that's all." Hermione banged down the Potion book she was studying.  
  
"What in the world makes you think I'd be privileged to go with you?! You are arrogant, conceited, and you have taunted me for years about my background! I will **NOT **go to the dance with you, infact, you would be a punishment for me to stand up with!" she had completely lost her temper.  
  
"Miss Granger, pray, what is this outburst?" Professor Snape's lip curled. "50 points from Gryffindor. As Head Girl, I would have expected better behaviour from you,"  
  
Hermione ignored Malfoy for the rest of the lesson.  
  
.............  
  
_It was slightly longer, so maybe my poll was quite useless. At least you get an update daily!_


	5. He Drives Me To Quote Books

**Two Heads Are Definitely Not Better Than One  
  
Subject: DHr  
  
Genre: Romance/Humour  
  
Rating: PG-13 just in case  
  
Summary: Hermione is sick of Draco Malfoy. They are Head Boy and Head Girl, hence the name. She decides that she has had enough, and tries to get to know him better.**  
  
_A/N: Oh, I am spoiling you! This is my second update I've written today!_  
  
....................  
  
Granger (Hermione? I'm not sure if you approve of me yet to let me use your first name),  
  
'I am not now to learn that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addressed of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second or even a third time. I am there-fore by no means discouraged by what you have said, and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long.' (Except it will be the ball, not an altar)  
  
I can't believe I am begging you, Granger.  
  
_Draco Malfoy.  
_  
...................  
  
Malfoy,  
  
'Upon my word, Sir, your hope is rather an extraordinary one after my declaration. I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies (if such young ladies there are) who are so daring as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time. I am perfectly serious in my refusal. – You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who would make you so.' – Elizabeth Bennett.  
  
I assume your quote came from Mr Collins.  
  
If you wish, you may call me Hermione.  
  
_Hermione Granger (most usually 'mudblood' to you)_  
  
..................  
  
Hermione,  
  
I rarely ever call you 'mudblood' anymore, and I am offended by the insinuation that to me you are known by that alias.  
  
Can we please stop speaking in quotes now?  
  
I know I've been a... how do you put it, ass? And I still am, I guess. But come on, you have to admit we'd look great together. This is my final offer. Will you go to the Yule Ball with me?

_Draco Malfoy._

………….

No.

_- Hermione Granger._

……………


	6. He Drives Me To Reject Him

**Two Heads Are Definitely Not Better Than One  
  
Subject: DHr  
  
Genre: Romance/Humour  
  
Rating: PG-13 just in case  
  
Summary: Hermione is sick of Draco Malfoy. They are Head Boy and Head Girl, hence the name. She decides that she has had enough, and tries to get to know him better.  
**  
_A/N: Thanks for your flattering reviews!_  
  
....................  
  
(This chapter is the ball, but here's just a teeny flashback of before it)  
  
Harry spat out his pumpkin juice.  
  
"Malfoy!?" he exclaimed, wiping juice from his chin.  
  
"Yes, Harry, Malfoy." Hermione said, looking at her sodden mashed potatoes.  
  
"You're not going to go with him..."  
  
"I don't know. He said that I'm the only girl slightly worth him. It's not like I'm going with anyone else,"  
  
"It's MALFOY!"  
  
"He's changed somehow. He's not much of an idiot anymore," Hermione reasoned.  
  
"Just watch out, Hermione... if I know Malfoy (and I think I do) something is not right,"  
  
...................  
  
"You obviously like him, 'Mione!" Ginny sighed, painting her toenails with clear nail polish. It was their second sleepover in a week.  
  
"I don't know if I like him, all I know is that I'm attracted to him,"  
  
"Then go to the ball with him."  
  
"That, I will never do."  
  
"Whatever. But you should,"  
  
(End flashback)  
  
.....................  
  
It was Christmas Eve and Hermione walked into the Great Hall. She had decided to go stag. Nothing would have made her go with Malfoy. The Hall was certainly festive. She waited by the buffet until everybody had arrived. 'I'm going to have to dance with Malfoy,' she thought, dreading it.  
  
Hermione looked awesome. Her hair was up with ringlets cascading down, framing her face. Her satin gown swept the floor; it was a pale lilac colour. Many people opened their mouths dumbly as they saw her, for she definitely didn't look like ordinary Hermione. Neville was talking to Seamus, but began stuttering as soon as he saw her.  
  
Draco was not blind to her. It was obvious to him that he should have asked her nicely. What a piece of arm-candy she'd be... but he knew she would never be just arm-candy. She had a mind of her own. He liked that... yet loathed her for being so attractive in every aspect. 'At least I get to dance with her,' he thought. 'It's not a total loss,'  
  
Draco was looking pretty good himself. It was muggle-dress theme, and he had a white shirt and black trousers, for the sake of looking smart. Pansy was fluttering on his arm in a lime-green strapless dress, giggling and pointing out people they knew. Unfortunately, he had had to take her, because otherwise she would have begged him to dance every dance with her anyway. At least she'd be quite satisfied if he took her. He told Pansy he had to go for a minute, and let go of her arm.  
  
"Hermione, the music's about to start," he said, walking up to her.  
  
"I realise that," she said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Can I tell you..."  
  
"How beautiful I am tonight? Please. You're like the fifteenth guy that's said that. Do you honestly think I care? You'd never appreciate me, Malfoy, let's leave it at that,"  
  
"I just need to tell you..."  
  
"Will the head boy and girl please take their places on the dance floor?" Albus Dumbledore's voice boomed, obviously under the 'sonorus' charm.  
  
Draco took Hermione's hand. They danced slowly to the Weird Sister's 'Love At Yule-time,' and gradually couples began to join them.  
  
"At least the focus is off us," Hermione sighed, leaning on Draco's shoulder as was expected in this particular dance.  
  
"Yeah... listen to me for a minute," Hermione lifted her head off his shoulder and couldn't help but look into his eyes. At least if he said something she could tell if he was lying. It was easy. They either looked away or blinked constantly.  
  
"What is it?" she said.  
  
"I wasn't exactly courteous to you the other day,"  
  
Hermione snorted.  
  
"But I've been thinking about this," he paused "about us."  
  
"There isn't an 'us' Draco," she said.  
  
"There could be,"  
  
"There will never be. What's up with this sudden change of character? One minute it's like 'mudblood I hate you,' and now it's all 'Hermione, let's get together,'"  
  
"Are you sure there will never be? I mean, that kiss in the library... no one kisses like that if they don't feel anything."  
  
"Okay, so maybe I liked you for a tiny second there but then you went and blew it! It always happens. I think maybe I'm falling for you and then you go and make a stupid comment and mess it all up! Anyway, you still haven't answered my question. Why have you changed?"  
  
Before she knew it he had her in a lip-lock. She lost all feeling, all sense. She was just kissing him back. And liking it. Then suddenly all came back to her and she pushed him away.  
  
"No, Draco! You can't just kiss me and think that I'm going to fall for you! It doesn't work that way! Sometimes first impressions last," she stormed out of the room, unaware of the people staring at her.  
  
.............  
  
_Okay, this is a weird cliffie. It's not even really a cliffie.  
  
I was a little unsure about this chapter. If you hate it, let me know and I'll delete it and write another one ASAP._


	7. He Drives Me To Lock Lips With Him

**Two Heads Are Definitely Not Better Than One  
  
Subject: DHr  
  
Genre: Romance/Humour  
  
Rating: PG-13 just in case  
  
Summary: Hermione is sick of Draco Malfoy. They are Head Boy and Head Girl, hence the name. She decides that she has had enough, and tries to get to know him better.**  
  
_A/N: Next chappie_  
  
....................  
  
"Er- Hermione?" Draco pondered outside the door. Hermione enclosed the pillow tighter around her ears.  
  
"Go away, _Malfoy_," she put emphasis on his last name.  
  
"That was incredibly rude what you did at the ball,"  
  
"Argh!" she tossed the pillow onto her bed and opened the door.  
  
"You didn't let me talk to you properly,"  
  
"Oh, I did, you just thought it would be better to talk to my lips," she said indignantly.  
  
"Don't tell me you don't feel anything for me,"  
  
"I don't," she insisted.  
  
"I guess I'm just wasting my time then..."  
  
"Draco? Do YOU like ME?"  
  
"Well," he rubbed his nose, a nervous habit "I'd like to see what if. Even if it is with you,"  
  
"This," she pushed him out of the door "is why I don't feel anything for you!" and slammed the door in his face. It was Christmas Eve, she shouldn't be stressing out. Hermione flopped onto her bed.  
  
...............  
  
The Christmas morning brought even more snow to Hogwarts. Hermione awoke and glanced at all the presents on her floor. She opened the one nearest, and found chocolate frogs from Ron. Harry's gift was a book about Transfiguration. She saw a small silver box on her dressing table. Opening it, Hermione found a silver wristwatch. It was perfect. There was a note.  
  
'From an ass – Draco,'  
  
She looked at the watch in disgust.  
  
"He thinks this is going to win me over? He is so wrong," she said.  
  
"You don't like it?" a voice said meekly from by the door.  
  
"DRACO! I'm in my... nightclothes,"  
  
"Don't worry, I won't stare," though she rather thought he was.  
  
"I do like it – it's just that you ARE an ass,"  
  
"I know. But you still want to kiss me,"  
  
"You're just crazy."  
  
"Am I?" he kissed her lightly on the cheek. She kissed him on his cheek. They looked at each other for a millisecond before they began kissing. She felt his soft green sweater with her hands. When they broke it off, Draco grinned.  
  
"I think we've confirmed that I'm not crazy,"  
  
"I- er, Merry Christmas!" she grabbed her clothes and ran to the bathroom.  
  
"Hermione! No fair!" he banged on the door. Hermione began running the shower and blocked it out.  
  
"Why did I kiss him?" she groaned. 


End file.
